Retreat of the Helheim Glacier, Greenland

Retreat of the Helheim Glacier, Greenland
effects of global warming and the loss of glaciers.
"our generation may be the last to see a glacier" -Dr. Michael Abrams, Scientist for Nasa

sorry meagan your breakdown will have to wait

why did you leave me? what am i doing here? did you really see me graduate? do you watch me struggle and wish you were here? i do. i wish you were here. i wish you were here. i wish you were here for me. i wish you were here to make things easier. i wish you were here so you could tell me what to do. i wish you here to help. i wish you were here to see me. i wish you were here to see cynnamon, kevin, morgan, mom, haroldeen, rita, steven, and aunt lousie. we had a family reunion- i wish you were there. i wish you didnt leave. i wish you'd come back for me. i don't want to be here anymore. i dont want to live here anymore. its too hard. everyone is mean and they dont understand me. to be honest i wish you were here so could have a friend. i wish you were here so i could talk to you. i dont know whats going on anymore. i dont know where my life is going. im supposed to apply to colleges this month. i dont know what to do. im honestly scared about starting college. i don't feel ready. i feel ready to get out but not ready to begin. i dont feel like im smart enough to go on.i dont feel like there's space in my brain and heart to go on. its all just so much. i dont even know what i want to do with my life. i dont even know if i want to life. i cant handle it. i cant handle everything changing. my life is so hard to me. waking up is exhausting, eating is a burden, school is overwhelming, work is crucifying. im just so tired of living. my dad and i are arguing because i need him but we cant "effectively communicate." I cant talk to him about anything because every time we talk im being disrespectful and making false assumption. he says he cant take my disrespect. disrespect to my father is breathing in the same room as him. his disrespect is saying i dont know. his disrespect is saying "dad i cant take this". i say thank you for your time he says dont patronize me. i says "dad i need help" he says for what. i just want to yell i dont want to live anymore. my mom is so off with out you. she needs you. she needed you. were all in bad boats. she doesn want to be married to this fool anymore but she cant move. i saw shayla my old nieghbor. she works for the same company as me. i remember you both being at my birthday parties. gawd i feel like for the amount of tears pouring out of my eyes i should have a real crisis. some kind of devastating event. maybe it is maybe this is mourning. maybe this is loss i feel for you. i wish you were here. i just want to stop being depressed. i just want my life to be easy. i just want to be smart enough to do my math hw. i just want to work in an accepting enviornment. i just want to come home and be abe to do my hw. i want to be able to afford lunch at school. i want to be able to drive w/o getting a ticket. i want to see my brother be succesful. i want to be able to call you. i want to feel appreciated. i want to be able to get my h.w done my 10 and i want to wake up at 9. i want to be able to excercise. i want to make it. i want the 80s to come back. i dont want everyone to rely on technology. at the same time i want my laptop to work. i want cynnnamon to comeback. i want to be be able to talk to my parents. i want my mom to turn it down- she doesnt need to be so loud. i just want to breathe. tell me how... tell me how to get through this. everyday i need 35 hours to get things done and yet there's only 24. i dont think i meant for this place. everyone is so mean. people are crazy. when did everything get so complicated. why cant everyone be generous and understanding. why was life easier when i was 12? why is ignorance bliss? why must the show go on? why do i have to always smile when there are tears coming out of my heart? why did you leave me? when are you coming back? i need you here. i wish you were here.
meagan
raggity ann and andy

Blink 182/TBS/ Weezer : Rock Show

Last night at 9:39 i was in the middle of a punk crowd.

Blink 182 played a bitchen show. They played with Weezer and TBS.. i missed TBS which i was pissed. my friend couldnt decide what to wear... we wasted like an hour just to go with the original outfit. anyways no biggie ill see tbs again i always do. Weezer was tight, they were way surprising got the jucies flowing. Island in the Sun was a tight performance. Perfect Situation was another fav. I got so mcuh good video i cant wait to actually edit and make it. I think i want to send it to Blink/Weezer. Supposedly Asher Roth played, i kinda wish i saw him. No spilled Milk. Blink 182 open with dumpweed and the crowd went insane. It was the fastest starting mosh pit i have probably ever been in. It started and people were just flying to the front (crowd surfing). Blink was overly excited haha and suprised. The crowd was one of the best crowds... they were moshing got a little crazy- i fell on the ground along with like 17 other people but it was all good. It was pretty mellow besides the crazy parts. I crowd surfed i think to Damnit i think or Rock show, First date... something like that. lol I had the best time. I think i fell in love with Mark Hoppus. He is soo beautiful, youthful, angelic, and sexy and OMG his voice makes my heart race everytime i think about it. i cant wait to go to another show. seriously. Blink played one of the best shows ever. I am in love. They played " use me holly cmon and use me, the air is so cold and numb IM feellin this, i feel in love with a girl at the rock show, Lets go Dont wait this one's almost over, if a stupid poem could fix this home id read it everyday, ill smile and you'll wave we'll pretend its ok, its too late to save me- youre too late,- your too late; im so sick of fights i hate this cmon on let me hold you feel you always." just the best concert ever the best energy the most love. i missed Blink. I still miss Blink. i didnt want it to end. i really didnt. Travis did a special for Dj Am he did a drumb solo harnested to hsi drums on a seperate platform- He rose above the crowd on his stage and rotated while drumb to AM. It was really moving and completely surreal. He is the best drummer i have ever seen/heard/ and met. Blink ended the Show with Damnit and got the Crowd really going. They say their coming back soon so i cant wait. I LOVE YOU BLINK 182, WEEzer, and TBS you should all play together again and add Green Day up in that. I LOVE MARK HoPPus!
BLINK ME
-Mk

i still love you

i love her. i still do. its strange in the way that i love things that remind me her clothes, scents, jokes, and songs. I knew it and i know it. i don't think ill ever get over her. its kind of like falling in love for the first time. She's beautiful. she taught me how to laugh, feel, and trust. She taught me style, class, and culture. She broke my heart and ruined my world. I recovered but not fully. If she asked me too i would do it all over again. nothing special. just another chance. maybe id treat her like i was afraid of losing her. id show her it was worth it. that we, me, us is worth it. friends? i would settle for. ..going to sleep... more later. good night. call me
<33Mk
-what you dont know

im over my friends.

my friends suck. how do you tell yoru friends you dont want to be their friend?? seriously everytime i hang out with them i want to tell them we need some space. they make me mad ugh they make me mad. they're careless, selfish, ill mannered, they make me want to throw up. I play the passive aggressive card but im so sick of it. Everytime i give them every oppurtunity to not be dumb and it feels like im dissapointed everytime. although everyone gets on my nerves 3 of my friends. My first friend hmmm she is so empty. nothing makes the girl happy, besides guys. guys guys guys. these guys she has to throw herself at them and then they dont even respond. she's pretty but has no emotion so they dont give her time. she will put her friends in dangerous situations, especially me. She will call guys over to my car in a parking structure at 2 in the am and promise them company.egh she doesnt ever wash her hands after she uses the bathroom. omg. she drinks til she lacks control and relies on me as a good friend to mantain repsonsibility. Most of my friends rely on me for keeping responsibility. Why? Why can't i be the one getting trashed? We used to have good times but then She got caught up in boyfriend drama which destroyed her. She never laughs or smiles with any truth. girl friends are not good enough for her. Ugh same friend different charactersitic- she'll invite me places but really have a guy showing up to meet her. wtf is that? she wont even tell me. why the drag along if you really have another alternative. year by year the quality of friends gets worse. i hate that- secrest agendas. friend 2 mr.too little too late. this guy this guy ugh i thouhgt just hooking up with him would be cool but once again, when you hook up with guys things become weird. at first everything was cool, everything was normal. something happened him and another friend (later revealed) started over doing it. he wants to pay for like my $1 burrito? im like its cool he starts having a fit, i get confused. he started wrestling with me after i told him i didnt want to be touched. why would he do that? why would he literally put me in a headlock as im telling him to let me go. he has gotten soooooooooooo weird. he started like 4 months ago. he started doing weird stuff. like bitting me to the point of pain on my face? why? who does this? what is he trying to do? or hugs- he'lll squeeze me until my back is literally cracking? he makes everthying difficult. forget trying to get directions. goodness. i dont get it. he was going to ask me on a vday dinner or some shit idek. he told my coworker of this gran plan to take me to my favorite place in victoria gardens...which is already stange but the stranger thing is he never told me. which was ultimately for the better but why tell everyone else? now you look dumb cause people are asking me how the date when and i say what date? and whats with biting? why are you bitting me? why do physically hurt me? thats not cute or attractive. why say just kidding after you do it? ummm here's a bite for your neck you didnt ask for it but let me say just kidding after i do it because somehow that will void the pain. eww. ugh and he talks about snacks like he just won the lottery. not fat but still get over the cookies, pasta, and burgers fantasy. and he drinks like a fish. all guys can drink but i dont think i have ever met anyone besides my stepfather who can drink in those amounts. AGHHH he is just not for me, no self control. friend #3 the hardest to shake. she has no awareness of the consequence of her actions. its like everytime im at a party she spills her drink on me. AGHHHH a year later im still getting drink spilled on me. She's not doing anything with her life. she relies on other people for transportantion money and responsibility. she has no identity. she uses an outside voice all the time. She can not keep a secret. Also lately she's been acting weird too like she tries to excite me or something with this fake Barney entusiasm " Hey Meagan hows your day?" with they fakest smile and battering eyelashes like im a damn vegetable. its so weird. everytime shes like " HEEEEYYYY!!!" sometimes its after we've already seen each other. Its the most nongenuine greeting. egh. is there some kind of awkward mood flu going on. she's willing to take or try anything or anyone as long as its free. She will talk about anyone and point out every flaw. she hates on people who are comfortable with themselves. and she doesnt even know the definition on metabolism, appetite, suppressant, or amoxicilan and she's 20. all these thngs ANNOY ME. she has an attitutde when i have a different view or oppinion. She finds reasons to argue with me all the time So why is she my friend. If i annoy them as much as they claim i do why do that talk to me. why dont we both just stop talking to each other. she spills her drink on me then puts her nasty sticky hands in my hair and on my face. she has no class and is too dependent. im so sick of it. last friend we're not that close but we reside close to each other. she is one of those NOSEY people. nosey nosey. she is deteremind that me and mr.#2 should be together its like her goal. there also seem to be a group of unconnected women that feel they've been appointed as matchmaker. she's one of them. she also is sooooo loud and always has some sarcastic shit to say and you dont even have to be talking to her. she will give her whole opinion on a subject that wasnt adressed to her. she is also a self inviter but the first one to call it a night.

i want them to back off.