naughty naughty

went out last night....

it was kind of like one of those things i believed would only happen in my wildest dreams. i cant tell you how many time i have dream of him. how many times we've been alone in a room and i want to tell him.... geezus you're it. but i dont. i hold my tongue. it wasnt my turn or place. so i gave up. made the mistake well not mistake... made the decision to move on and when the time came.. go with it.
well last night it was his turn and we went all the way. i thought i blew it. i thought why would he? yet im no more into him than i was a week ago.. at least thats what it seems like now... anywho mr.gorgeous was such a sweetheart. different from his normal... alcohol inspired? quite possibly but! i think hes been wanting to make the move. "i think you're beautiful" is what he told me. and that is so cheesy but exactly what i wanted to hear. his body is amazing and so is he. i cant stop thinking about his face. and seeing him smile at me as he walked away. he kissed me , he apologized, and then he kissed me again and said good night. if i could go back id do something differently. i wouldnt be wasted and i would rock his world. i dont even relaly rememeber what was going on. he made me break one of my only rules but i dont regret it. i lived. what do you want i said? "surprise me" wow. i want to feel guilty but i dont. i really dont ive been wanting him for so long everything else doesnt matter.
how to have it happen again is the question but even if not once was good enough but it could have been better. im down for seconds. he is just soo damn hott. but until then i hope things are cool between us, it looks like it is. its just going to be hard to not imagine him the way he was that night.
-until then